I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
