My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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