I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I look excited, but its just a facade.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
