don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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