he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
