I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
