I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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