Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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