sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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