that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize