Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
