im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
