So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
