Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
