then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize