She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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