She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
