Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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