Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
