never play flip cup with pint glasses
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
