I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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