I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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