Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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