This girl is more easily done than said...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
