See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
