So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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