I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
