honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
