i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
