Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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