Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Im part way to drunk.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
