i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
