dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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