what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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