when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm bleeding and have questions
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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