I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Randomize
