That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
