How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
