did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
