plz talk dirty to me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
