Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
