Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
