How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
