If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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