We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
