we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
