she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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