He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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