just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
