im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
