i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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