remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
