I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Come see our sink grown plant.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
