Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
