no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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