my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
