I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize