I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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