i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
