Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
