we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize