Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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