I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
