yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
