i would punch a child for taco bell
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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