So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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