Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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