So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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