I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
