i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
